whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
