Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
