If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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