Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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