I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
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Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
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This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
how drunk are you?
Several
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize