Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
