There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
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Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
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I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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