She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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