He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
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