I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize