The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
