$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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