I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you win again, gameday.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
