My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
