There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
