Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
