I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
