i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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