I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sext me about skeletons
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize