He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
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My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
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It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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