I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
