Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
