No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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