I need help removing her.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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