chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
