During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
