i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
