My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
