I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize