I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
