no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
