i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize