yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
