first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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