I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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