I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize