shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
