Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
