well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
