perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
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fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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