Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
