hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm really busy with my period
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