I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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