Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
