You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
