i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize