Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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