we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
