so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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