I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
