Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
