It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
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I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
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you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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