I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
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My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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