direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
