we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
