You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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