You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
