How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
