xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
