just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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