my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
