Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
